Cast
Paul Merton
The Captain
Jessica Hynes
The Good Fairy (as Jessica Stevenson)
Mark Williams
King Rat
Noel Sullivan
Himself (as Hear'Say)
Julian Clary
Chris the Cat
Harry Hill
The Painter
Richard Wilson
Sally the Cook
Karl Hughes
Rat
Amanda Barrie
Queen of Tonga
James Fleet
Alderman Fitzwarren
Lee Mack
Idle Jack
Myleene Klass
Herself (as Hear'Say)
Tina O'Brien
Maid of Tonga
Debra Stephenson
Alice Fitzwarren
Sanjeev Bhaskar
The Mayor
Kevin Bishop
Dick Whittington
Vanessa Feltz
Mrs. Fitzwarren