Jamie enjoys arranging a promotional event for the sporting-goods store and getting a former Yankees player to make an appearance Paul is angry when he finds out Burt is turning the store over to Ira.
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Paul is torn when Jamie is in the hospital for a minor procedure to determine if she can get pregnant at the same time he's required to be at a business meeting Paul's job is on the line when Ira pretends to be his agent.
Paul's sperm sample is missing after the Buchmans' car is stolen when Paul and Jamie finally arrive at the hospital after a series of delays, a keyed-up Paul has trouble producing a new sample.
Jack is determined to get back in shape and hires a tough, personal trainer (Neal McDonough) Maya and Finch collaborate on a screenplay.
Fair play is not a priority when Jack hires former slugger Steve Garvey for the annual baseball game.
Nina, Maya and Elliott are thrilled to have been nominated for Femmy Awards Finch is rejected by a cover girl.
Maya's photography teacher (David Clennon) wants her to pose in the nude Finch competes for Jack's attention.
Malcolm is the only one not bitten by the love bug after eating Simone's (Michelle Hurd) chocolate cookies.
Malcolm and Eddie switch places after betting each other that one could run the other's business better.
Joe's (Joe Rogan) smart drink amazes Dave (Dave Foley) with its results on Matthew (Andy Dick) Max (Jon Lovitz) is nervous about Beth (Vicki Lewis).
The staff becomes concerned when Dave (Dave Foley) starts spending too much time with a relaxation machine.
Matthew (Andy Dick) hires Joe (Joe Rogan) to dig up dirt on Max Louis (Jon Lovitz) in order to get him fired restaurant investigation.
Ira and his date fight at Paul's birthday party, prompting Paul to have flashbacks to some of the disasters that have ruined his birthday in previous years.
Ira's ex-wife (Cyndi Lauper) returns from Luxembourg, now divorced and rich. She offers to finance Ira's new venture, but his silent partner vetoes the idea.
Paul's parents give Paul and Jamie a trip to the Caribbean. The only problem is, to use it they have to pretend to be Paul's parents, and it proves very difficult.
Jo must make a decision between a teaching job and an offer from a major corporation.
Ann confronts her daughters' new stepmother.
Ann encourages a bashful worshiper of Barbara's to ask her for a date.
Burt meets another human in space while his alien double on Earth is giving Mary sleepless nights.
Jessica chooses between Chester and Detective Donahue Burt's shocking fate is revealed.
Barbara agrees to marry an illegal alien.
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